Life suck at the moment

need to wake up at 630am this morning. Life is so NS today. So i keep crapping about my NS life in the morning when we need to prepare to work. 4 people fighting for 1 toilet. But then again, 3 of them allow me to use when i need it.

wanna blog about typical BMT life, but forget it since i said it once this morning.

Talk about my gf, or ex gf?
If this happen way before like sep or oct, i wont feel so bad. But at this time? It sucks. The reason/excuse used is not good. I would rather you said i did not give you enough. That will make me feel better.

This OIAP trip? What did i learn?
Probably a 19 year old will learn a lot, i have been through a lot of work experience already, i would say i learn nothing much.
What did i lose? A LOT.
5 months
loss of income
leisure
body - takes months to retrain 1 ok?
hair
probably my gf (i spent 4 years+ (include time when i fail sianing other girl etc la) to get one, if it's lost now? )

I will be really disappointed. But it's better that we part now than later. Things will be better when i return.

probably we will get back together, do i need to use the word again?
probably we can be friends.
probably you dont want that.
what's the point of having you as a friend when i got betrayed?
guys' EGOS. It's gotta i call the stop or we continues. Darn it.
fark me.
fark it.
fark everything (by xf)

although i felt miserable, i feel good in a way. i want this feeling so that i know i still have emotions! i can still sleep well.

do deep inside, am i really sad. or not?
i am just so random.

this blog entry
from NS
to sian
to fark
to dont know

i am still as random as ever.

if i still have you, good.
if i dont have you, good.

that's why "always look on the bright side of life"
but what can i look at the bright side of this oiap?
probably the experience of climate, only?
probably probably some random shit.